ALONE WITH THE GREAT ALONE

I once knew a young lady who suffered from heart palpitations. It was frightening, at best the fluttering feeling in her chest was annoying, at worst there were times when she thought she would die. The most frustrating aspect of the condition for her was that all the many tests she underwent indicated that there was nothing physically wrong with her heart, at times she wished the medics could find some defect, for then she could see a possibility of getting it fixed, for if there’s nothing wrong there’s nothing to fix, and she suffered on.
Now I’m no medic but it seems to me that the difficulty could have been related to her chosen lifestyle; the frenetic busy-ness, always going somewhere, or coming back, indeed it would be little surprise if she were to meet herself on the way. The incessant music plugged into her ears, the jumble of parties and part-time jobs and studies were indicative of an inner malaise: she was afraid of her own thoughts.
What I mean is this, a couple of years earlier, when I thought I began to see trouble ahead for her, I pleaded with her to slow down the pace of her life, to take time to think, to reflect, to observe the beauty of the world in which she lived. How wonderful, how invigorating and therapeutic it is to watch the waves crash onto rocks, or listen to the quiet gurgle of a stream on its way to the sea, or to stand on a mountain top and simply absorb the majesty of creation. But no, she told me she could not bear to be alone with her thoughts for ten minutes. And therein perhaps lay the problem.
Os Guinness in his book The Grave Digger File, quotes Bertrand Russell; ‘Most Christians would rather die than think – in fact they do!’ and that is my conclusion too. For example I wrote in this column a few years ago, scathingly I think, of a well known American evangelist who said, ‘Follow the man who is following Jesus.’ The sad thing is that because of the perceived stature of the man, you and I both know that thousands of his devotees will mindlessly trot out that saying as a cool mantra. If they were to pause for a couple of minutes, exercise some original, critical thought they would quickly see the utter stupidity of the idea, quite apart from its dubious theological basis.
We live in a world of increasing madness and I’m convinced that the only way to avoid contamination is to cultivate a habit of quietness, allowing for solitary moments in our daily lives. Richard Rohr talks about learning to be alone with the Great Alone.
There are many references in the Bible to the benefits of stillness, indeed on a trip to the Holy Land a few years ago I spent some time alone in the Judean Desert, the place where Jesus would have gone: ‘...at daybreak... to a solitary place.’ And I think I gained some insight into the uniqueness of that time and place in communicating with what writer Paul Hawker came to know as the Source of all life.
For me however the great lesson is in the experience of the old prophet Elijah. He was afraid, depressed and lonely, hiding from those who would have had him dead. He needed to hear from his God and as he stood on the mountain top a mighty windstorm hit the mountain, but God was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake either. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but it was only after the fire that the tired old man heard the voice of God in a gentle whisper.
We don’t need to go on Retreats, nor are we expected to become hermits, but we can, with a little self discipline learn to hear the voice of comfort and guidance, in the stillness of our own hearts.